Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
