he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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