There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
