Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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