So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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