Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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