You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
