YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
