wakey wakey hands off snakey
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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