just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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