i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
