due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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