So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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