oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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