Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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