Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
