I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize