Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
