I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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