found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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