what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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