my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
