I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
