i was born a porn star she said
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
