So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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