i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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