3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
why didn't you poke me back
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
