This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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