i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
