Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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