i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
