i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
