Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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