So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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