i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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