you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
