just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize