I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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