just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
