Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
