It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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