too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
