you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
