How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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