when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
