so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
