I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize