i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
