what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
