he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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