I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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