There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
