Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
