Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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