your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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