Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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