remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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