either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize