remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
