haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you inspire me to be a worse person
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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