I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
